Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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