Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
