i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
