i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
