I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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