I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch