There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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