i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
MIDGETS
????
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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