using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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