What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
