Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
