The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
