I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
