I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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