sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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