Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
