I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
