Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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