Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
