Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize