I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
