Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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