Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
