you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.