Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain