four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though