Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't tell me you're on acid again