I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
