I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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