Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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