I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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