am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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