so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize