just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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