Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
