Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize