i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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