someone threw a dead crab at me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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