Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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