yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
