I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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