btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
