Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
