if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
