Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
