Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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