New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it hurts more in the daytime
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
