turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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