Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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