so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
