He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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