You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
