Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize