Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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