so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme