Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend