Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

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(484): im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste http://tfl.nu/zz8f

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(443): View more from Maryland

why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

(410): View more from Maryland

haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

(443): View more from Maryland

that only happened once.

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(443): why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag? (410): haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background (443): that only happened once. http://tfl.nu/9rml

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(518): View more from New York

i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

(413): View more from Massachusetts

did it start talking like on Land before time?

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(518): i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur (413): did it start talking like on Land before time? http://tfl.nu/4v1u

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

this is your brother

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(978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;) (1-978): this is your brother http://tfl.nu/l4xz

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(831): View more from California

I puked off the balcony.

(1-831): View more from California

Not horrible

(831): View more from California

Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

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(831): I puked off the balcony. (1-831): Not horrible (831): Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza. http://tfl.nu/7wv6

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(619): View more from California

went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.

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(619): went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation. http://tfl.nu/zdno

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(905): View more from Ontario

gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way

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(905): gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way http://tfl.nu/08qt

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(727): View more from Florida

It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.

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(727): It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics. http://tfl.nu/z8vb

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(347): View more from New York

I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.

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(347): I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/xmgz

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer

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(608): There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wkr0

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(518): View more from New York

That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing

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(518): That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz (978): Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing http://tfl.nu/v9yz

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(775): View more from Nevada

We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip

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(775): We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip http://tfl.nu/afxb

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(720): View more from Colorado

My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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(720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1

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(561): View more from Florida

I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!

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(561): I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE! http://tfl.nu/qqyw

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?

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(+44): So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff? http://tfl.nu/24fo

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