No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.