I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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