i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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