fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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