All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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