I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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