im drinking this country out of the recession.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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