Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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